June is Gay Pride Month in many communities around the world. It is a time for us to celebrate who we are. This year, San Francisco’s Pride celebration is June 28th and 29th. The theme is “United by Pride, Bound for Equality”. This year is quite special for the city of San Francisco and for many Gay and Lesbian couples who will be able to legally marry in the state of California begining June 17th.

I can vividly remember the day, March 10, 2004, when Alex and I were married at the city hall in San Francisco. This was our second trip to the city to get married. About four weeks prior, we were turned away due to the overwhelming number of Gay and Lesbian couples that were trying to get married. We were one of the last couples, over 4000 in total, to get married before the California Supreme Court issued a temporary stay on the following day. A temporary stay that lasted over four years.

Our marriage on March 10, 2004 was soon taken away from us and we once again became second class citizens at the hands of the religious fanatics that were then and still are running this country and our daily lives. This was a time of great happiness and sadness for me. Along with Alex and me getting married, in March of 2004 I graduated from University with a four year Bachelor of Science degree. This was quite an accomplishment for me at this stage of my life. I wish I had done that when I was twenty two! Sadness came when the courts put a stop to gay marriage and when on Good Friday, April 9, 2004, my mother lost her brave battle with cancer.

My mother died in a hospital in San Diego hundreds of miles away from her home in Eugene Oregon. The whole family was at her bedside when she passed. I’m glad I was there with her. I can’t image being witness to anything more emotionally tramatic then watching my sweet mother open her eyes at that moment, look up at my father and then exhail that last breath of air from her mortal body. As I look back at that day, it also signified in a way the death of our family. Many of us never spoke again to one another until the death of my father late last year brought us children together again for a brief time.

My mother didn’t watch me graduate from the University, she didn’t attend our marriage at the city hall, I didn’t even tell her that Alex and I went to the city and got married. One thing that I do know however is that my mother was always proud of me. There was never a moment in my life, never a thing that I could do wrong where she wasn’t proud of who and what I was and am. I wish I could have that same level of pride and confidence in myself as my mother had in me. If she was still with us and if Alex and I do get “legally” married, she would certainly be there.

As we celebrate pride this month, I will do so with the knowledge and excitement that Gay marriage is for the first time legal in the state of California. We truly are Bound for Equality! It is also extremely important for us to realize that this wonderful gay marriage right can slip right through our hands once again and forever, come the election this November. The religious right will put up a fight to the likes that we have never witnessed before for a consitutional amendment against Gay marriage. This will be their battle for their silly little way of life. This is our battle too. It is now our time to fight for our way of life. Another time and opportunity will not come again.

Dean